Muffin tops, cellulite, freckles, big breasts, small breasts, a crooked nose… Who among us hasn't felt ashamed of something about their body at some point in their life? We convince ourselves that we will be lovable only once we "fix" that thing. Although we seem to know that our value is not tied to our appearance, social media reflects back to us how we should live and what we should look like. BonBon Lingerie's mission is to encourage women to love themselves and adore their bodies just as they are. We know that even the seemingly most beautiful and successful women have the same fears as all of us, and we believe that by sharing these stories, we can become stronger and more self-confident together.

In this blog, beloved singer, psychology and self-development enthusiast, motivational speaker, and BonBon woman Helen Adamson shares her extraordinary story. Helen inspires us every day with her courage to be herself and her contribution to fostering women's self-love.

The journey to achieving self-confidence and peace

Helen is wearing a Red Flame underwire bra, suspender belt, and thong.

Helen's journey to achieving self-confidence and peace began in her teens. By the time Helen, who was into modeling, turned 16, she weighed about 55 kilos and received very clear signals that she was too big for that career. "I was doing all sorts of silly things at 14 – for example, drinking cotton wool with water so my stomach would be full. I felt very guilty every time I ate anything," Helen shares. She adds, "I also had a period in my life where I tried to vomit up food, but it didn't work well enough. Fortunately, food is one thing I've never been able to give up in my life – otherwise, I would have definitely become anorexic."

Helen states that the journey to achieving self-confidence and peace has not been easy. There have been many obstacles and challenges, and she couldn't say that the work is done right now. Helen compares this journey to peeling an onion: "Every time I peel this onion, I just take off a layer, but there's always something more underneath. The deeper I go, the bigger and deeper the wounds I encounter. At the same time, when I do that, I get much better contact with myself and my needs."

According to Helen, she has found support in therapy. She is convinced that without individual and family therapy, she wouldn't be where she is now.

The singer shares that she has recently been working a lot on saying and noticing more positivity in herself. She feels that she is still good at finding faults in herself and pointing them out, but believes that by focusing only on the bad, we tend to forget what is very good. "Thanks to my therapist's guidance, today I can notice more and more of the things that I do well," the woman says with gratitude.

A typical mistake that people make, in her opinion, is that they do not understand how a stranger could help them with problems that they know best themselves. Helen admits: "I understand why people feel that way. They are overcome by fear of the unknown, of opening themselves up to someone." In addition, people feel very extraordinary and individual, not realizing that human behavior is repetitive. People believe their problems are unique and therefore cannot be helped. It is not realized that therapists have years of experience and the working methods used have already been thoroughly developed. Mostly, these approaches have already been scientifically proven, which actually means that people are not at all as unique as they think, and I mean that in a good way."

For Helen, reaching the realization that none of us are unique was a breakthrough. She explains: "It means that every person who feels like they are alone in their worry is actually never alone. With absolutely every concern that someone might have, it is important to realize that someone else has also dealt with it, someone else has also looked that concern in the eye, someone else has also felt like they are completely alone in it. Maybe those people will never meet, but they can be helped by the wisdom that we already have in the world, in the form of therapy or books."

Only by valuing ourselves can we overcome insecurity

An important turning point in Helen's development was when she stopped disparaging herself. She reveals: "Most of the time until I was about 24-25, I was convinced that I had an ugly body and that I was too fat. Looking back at the pictures, it's even a bit funny to see how distorted a person's self-image can be. Society can brainwash us so thoroughly that you start to believe yourself that you have to meet certain standards. Getting out of that has been a long journey and it continues."

A big step for Helen towards loving herself and her body was related to entering the public eye. "When my song 'Kas tead?' (Do you know?) came out, I suddenly found myself in the center of the Estonian public's interest. For me, it was still a very big surprise that people were writing things about me in online comments that were not true and disparaging me without digging deeper or knowing who I am. Disparaging comments forced me to deal with insecurity and made me think: 'Wait, whose criticism is this now, is it mine or is it these people's problem?'"

Helping Helen significantly overcome her insecurity was the realization that the person who says something bad to another has the very complexes they criticize, and it is actually very difficult for them to cope with themselves. "Truly, the one who says it to another is that person themselves," Helen reasons. "I realized that this is not my issue and that I don't have to change myself for anyone else."

Today, the woman can say with a calm heart that she is her own role model in many ways. "My role models are people who invest in their own inner growth, who do not give up in the face of difficulties. People who chew their way through inner fears." She adds: "I believe that every person who dares to look into the unknown and dares to step out of their comfort zone is a role model for me. This is so important that to some extent I would like to say that all people are my role models, because living here on Earth is a challenge in itself."

Helen is wearing a Black Orchid triangle bra, suspender belt, and thong.

How to accept your body and boost your self-confidence?

Helen is convinced that every woman has some complex about her body, and even if she doesn't perceive those complexes at one point, they can still come back, because that is simply so human. The singer admits that she also currently has a complex about her body, related to the extra kilos gained at the beginning of the year: "No matter how much I work out or how much healthier I eat, that weight doesn't go away." Learning to love her softer form was one of Helen's biggest challenges this summer. "I have accepted that this is how it is right now."

Quite soon she realized that the weight gain was not caused by her lifestyle. "According to the results of the body analysis, the weight gain was not dangerous to my health in any way. I realized that something is happening to my body right now, for some reason it is collecting reserves at the moment. For me, the most important thing is that I feel good and strong myself. I think that working on yourself and looking inside helps to overcome complexes and make peace with them. They might come back up from time to time, but what of it, that's normal life. I am doing everything as correctly as I know how."

To women who want to learn to love themselves and their bodies, Helen recommends being bold: "I recommend courage. The courage to look inside yourself, the courage to allow yourself to be vulnerable. The courage to allow yourself to even blame yourself and the courage to allow yourself to feel those uncomfortable feelings that come up from time to time."

Her second practical recommendation is to watch what we say about ourselves. As an example, the singer brings up a situation where her hair didn't want to grow. "I noticed that I started telling myself all the time that I have such ugly hair, that my hair is such a mess. At one point, I started observing what I was saying and then I discovered that why should my hair want to grow if I say such bad things to it."

It is important to notice what words we use about ourselves and our bodies. "I noticed that spring was my worst period, where I saw only negative in myself. I told myself that me and my body are so ugly and I said out loud that I am fat. I wasn't fat, but that was what I felt at that moment," she recalls. "I decided that I didn't want to continue like that anymore and tried to change that thought in my head until at one point it actually started to change. The basis of change is consistency; it pays to speak positive words about yourself, because they have a much greater impact."

"My journey to achieving peace has been long and continues still. You can't say that this journey has come to an end, because I personally don't believe that people reach some specific place where they are confident and satisfied and now that stays for the rest of their lives," Helen discusses. "Life goes in waves. From time to time, all these feelings are very strongly in our lives. In the next moment, old patterns can flare up again, because our subconscious and reptilian brain is one big infinite ocean, of which we understand only one small drop."

Lingerie and self-confidence

Helen is wearing a Red Flame underwire bra, suspender belt, and thong.

"Lingerie is a great tool for every woman to make herself more confident," believes Helen. According to her, even such a small thing as knowing you are wearing beautiful lingerie adds significantly to your self-confidence. It makes us feel special, sexy, and feminine every day. "You don't just put it on for the theater or for a special day for your man, but you put it on for yourself."

"Self-confidence means to me a good connection with myself and my needs. A person who has a good connection with themselves and their real needs is confident in my eyes because they know what they want without stepping over others," Helen explains.

To women who want to boost their self-confidence, Helen suggests finding time for themselves daily. "I do a lot for myself daily. First, I do yoga and meditate every morning. After that, I work out, have breakfast, do work, and then at one point I still go either biking or walking. Every day also includes such small things like the fact that I only have very beautiful and comfortable lingerie in my closet that I want to wear daily, plus various face masks with which I pamper myself in the evenings. Body oils with natural essential oils are my ritual, because touching oneself adds physical closeness and self-love towards one's own body. It is all important because it helps me to be in better contact with myself."

According to Helen, she has been a devoted fan of BonBon for years, which is why her lingerie drawer is filled mainly with BonBon lingerie. According to her, BonBon stands out from other lingerie brands in that it is very comfortable, but at the same time also very beautiful. "I haven't met any such lingerie brand whose lingerie I could wear daily and for which I could claim that my most comfortable lingerie is also my most beautiful lingerie. BonBon lingerie does not scratch, it does not pinch. It's like a higher gift that your lingerie designers have, that they are able to design lace lingerie that fits the body so comfortably."

Helen's undisputed favorites from the BonBon Lingerie selection are Red Flame and Frozen Blooms. "When I first saw Frozen Blooms, I found it hard to believe that someone could make such beautiful lingerie. I went and bought it for myself peacefully without any guilt. It is simply one of the most beautiful lingerie sets in the world that I have ever seen," she recalls. "I love BonBon's style immensely and I love that you produce extremely sexy additional accessories to go with the lingerie, such as suspender belts and body straps."

Helen is convinced that lingerie and self-confidence are strongly connected. "BonBon lingerie makes me feel sexier. It gives me feminine self-confidence, a pleasant feminine power. I believe that by assigning importance to the thing myself by considering it tremendously sexy, I grant it a power of my own, which, wearing it, becomes a part of me."

Helen notices details first and foremost when it comes to lingerie. Additional details like ribbons and cords give a hint that energy and creativity have been invested in this product. "When I take something on, I do it as well as I can. When I look at BonBon lingerie, I see that someone has also given their all to create this lingerie. Every detail has been thought of and it somehow gives the feeling that it has been made with passion, and then that thing has a greater value in my eyes. Things for which I feel they were made with love speak to my eyes and my soul, and in the case of BonBon lingerie, I really feel that."

Helen is wearing a Black Orchid triangle bra, suspender belt, and thong.

BonBon thanks Helen Adamson from the bottom of our hearts for sharing her story. We hope that this story resonated with you and gave you food for thought to support your journey towards loving yourself and your body.

You are wonderful!