What to Do if Being a Mother Outshines the Woman Part of You?
Mothers Are Wonderful!
Women open their hearts and bodies when a new soul comes into their life, creating a soft and safe home for someone who they don’t even know yet. It is love at first sight, the kind of love that sometimes makes itself known already when missing your baby, other times it flashes in the rhythm of the little one's heartbeat, ultrasound picture or slightest movement. Women who don’t have biological children can also feel this kind of intense and unconditional love.
Being a mother is an all-inclusive role that tends to overpower everything and everyone else as a mother’s heart is programmed by nature to prioritise her offspring. Thus, when women become mothers, they tend to lose touch with their feminine side. For women to find joy in being both a mother as well as woman prior to Mother’s Day, BonBon has made a list of important principles to keep in mind.
Take Care of Yourself Woman!
Just because mothers often have less time for themselves once they have kids, doesn’t mean they don’t want to feel gorgeous and desirable. Before having kids, a lot of women strongly believe that they will never stop taking care of themselves but they soon realise the hard truth - mother’s don’t have time for everything, much less for ‘me, myself and I’.
If time is limited, it is easier and smarter to accept that one simply cannot do everything, nor do they have to. Of course children come first but that doesn’t mean that a mother should forget about themselves or their partner. A woman who finds time to take care of herself has a level of respect for both herself as well as her loved ones. The latter is extremely important for maintaining a good frame of mind, body and soul. If a mother is content and happy with herself, it affects everyone and everything around her positively as well.
Set Realistic Goals for Yourself!
Ask yourself, what can you do for yourself today in order to be happier? Not for your kids or husband or home, just yourself. Once you are happier, everyone else around you is on the receiving end of this positivity as well. Don’t set yourself goals that cannot be reached, and instead start small - try to establish realistic objectives that take little time to fulfil. When was the last time you put on your favourite album and felt positive energy make its way through your body as you slowly moved to the rhythm of it, or enjoyed a good cup of tea in complete silence? When was the last time you pampered your body with a silky body lotion or read an enticing book you just couldn’t put down? When was the last time you meditated, wrote poetry, called an old childhood friend, or created a nourishing face mask out of ingredients you found at home? Most of these activities don’t take longer than 10 minutes. Even supermoms are able to find 10 minutes in their busy schedules to take time off for themselves.
It is important to make taking care of yourself a daily practice by integrating it into your schedule. The more you practice it, the more natural part of your daily routine it becomes. The goal is to make you notice and value yourself as a woman. We believe that if you consciously dedicate at least 10 minutes each day pampering yourself for 21 consecutive days, you will soon discover that your ‘happy hormones’ have miraculously asked the universe time-bank for more minutes in the day for your relaxing activities. It’s like they say, ask and you shall receive!
Allow Gorgeous Lingerie to Save the Day!
Another thing through which you can transform your perception of yourself is of course through gorgeous lingerie. Lingerie is an everyday item as it is, which means it won’t be a drastic change from choosing a sexy and luxuriously premium lingerie set instead of a bleak bra and panties. Even in the evening, you can choose something that makes you feel passionate and feminine, and by combining it with a beautiful kimono, you can pamper all your senses before going to bed. Your lingerie doesn’t have to be made out of lace or velvet if that is not what you prefer. Minimal lingerie made out of soft viscose that has recently been added to your lingerie collection and is not too everyday also instills the necessary dose of feminine confidence every woman needs.
It is important to feel comfortable while maintaining your femininity as well. One can not cancel out the other. This is important for your relationship and for your children who need happy parents, as well as for yourself in order to remain as true to yourself as possible.
Men, Value Your Women!
To prevent mothers from slowly withering away as women and putting everyone’s needs before theirs, men must contribute their time and energy as well. We can assure you that this is not difficult at all. The main thing a woman needs from her partner is support and recognition. It’s true, women fall in love through their ears and making compliments is the easiest way to let your partner know that she is still desirable and gorgeous. Women need beautiful words the same way people need air and water. Surprisingly, women who are valued by their partners are able to do so much more: keep the home environment harmonious, fly through errands, and still find energy to be gentle and passionate for her partner in the evening.
Clinical psychologist Mark E. Crawford shares a useful tip for men in his book ‘When Two Become Three’: in order for women to remain passionate and want intimacy, men should take on some kind of housework they don’t usually do. Firstly, it takes the burden off their partner, and secondly, this often motivates women to work even harder to thank their partner and make him happy. It’s worth a try!
Mothers, Love Deeply (Yourself too, Not Only Your Kids and Partner)!
Becoming a mother doesn’t mean the end of being a woman. On the contrary, the role of a mother complements being a woman and expands your world in so many ways. Even if sometimes, taking care of yourself seems to start to fade into the background again, it is super easy to bring it back into your daily routine again. Every time you see your children playing, dreaming and finding joy in the little things in life, remind yourself that the woman inside of you needs a gentle touch and recognition from time to time as well.
A Gift for Mothers
If you, your mother or the mother of your children is one of those women whose feminine side is slowly disappearing or has completely been overshadowed by a mother's role, then think about what you can do to help bring that wonderful woman back to life again. Could it be a motivating compliment, a housework done as a surprise, lingerie that ignites feminine charm and confidence, or a soft dressing gown in which to enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning for 10 minutes in pleasant silence? Don’t forget that women remain women regardless of their age and many ladies expect their husband, children or grandchildren to still acknowledge their feminine spark. Maybe it’s your grandmother who would be warmly delighted to receive BonBon’s floral kimono that evokes romantic memories of her youth.