Living in constant fear

Breast cancer was no stranger to Anna. Her mother went through the same journey six years ago, and all that time a fear kept ticking at the back of Anna's mind that the disease might appear in her too. Afraid of the "genetic lottery", she lived to the rhythm of regular check-ups and close attention to her body.

Two years before her diagnosis, Anna found a small lump in her breast herself. The test results came back fine, and at first it seemed the fear had been for nothing. Sadly, that lump soon turned into stage three breast cancer.

Even though Anna checked her breasts diligently, one day she found herself facing not the first stage, but already the third. Let her story be a lesson and a reminder to us all: if something in your breast worries you, keep following up on it, even if the first answer was reassuring.

Life after the diagnosis

Naturally, the diagnosis came as a great shock to the whole family. Having seen her mother's cancer treatment up close, Anna more or less knew what lay ahead.

Anna told her mother about her diagnosis only shortly before the surgery, when chemotherapy was already behind her. True to form, Anna finds something good in everything, and she says that she and her mother, shaken by the news, grew much closer through the experience.

Chemotherapy, surgery and radiation took a heavy toll on her whole body. Yet the hardest moment was not a physical one – the hardest was realizing that human life is fragile and that tomorrow is guaranteed to none of us.
Throughout her treatment, Anna was deeply cared for by her loved ones. Her partner took on absolutely every household worry, so Anna could recover at her own pace and never once had to wonder, for example, whether their child had dinner.

During treatment, it was the small things that brought joy. Her partner, who could make her laugh even when it felt like she only had the strength to breathe. Hugs with her daughter that pulled her out of a deep emotional well. Dear colleagues who brought broths, soups and other delicious home-cooked food! And of course friends, who dragged her out of the house and stood by her.

Having been both a patient and the loved one of someone who was ill, Anna knows there is no single right answer to the often-asked question "How can I support someone with a cancer diagnosis?" Her only advice is not to ask too many questions, but simply to be there. A person who is ill is usually so confused, tired and frightened that they can't think straight or don't dare to ask for help. You just have to act. "Cook something, bring something tasty, walk the dog, drive them to the seaside, bring flowers, or simply drop by," says Anna.

Anna also knows all too well how hard and helpless it feels to watch from the sidelines while someone you love is suffering. Her warm advice is not to stay alone with that feeling either, but to seek help. Talking to people with a similar experience helps! There are many counselors ready to listen and support you – you can find a suitable contact, for example, on the Onkoloogika community website.

"Talking to people with a similar experience helps! There are many counselors ready to listen and support you."

Beauty, femininity and rebirth

After a double mastectomy with removal of the nipples, Anna had to learn to love a new version of herself. The recovery period after surgery did not feel particularly feminine. During that time it was important to be patient and take one day at a time, until her vitality slowly returned. Anna then began to look for femininity within herself, because she realized that having or not having breasts, nipples or any other organs does not define who she is. Sexuality, too, is not expressed through appearance alone – there is so much more to it, and every age has its own advantages. Of course, a new life takes getting used to, and there are things, such as medically induced menopause, that she now has to learn to live with. Yet today, eight months after the surgery, she feels more confident than ever before and is endlessly grateful to her body for withstanding such a harsh trial.

When it comes to beauty, they say that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Anna agrees, but it makes her wonder: "How much does someone actually use their eyes, what exactly do they notice, and what feelings does something stir in them – now that is a far more interesting question! To me, a sincere smile is beautiful. Sincere emotion is beautiful, and so are confidence and knowing who you are! Add to that the courage and freedom to express yourself in both words and deeds. It is beautiful to use your feelings and emotions to create something amazing! In that sense, we are all creators of beauty."

Anna shines at the PÄRIS restaurant wearing the BonBon Lingerie Glory ouvert bra.

Beauty and femininity go hand in hand with self-care. For Anna, this above all means supporting her body and her brain chemistry: a varied diet, good-quality sleep, physical and social activity, pampering herself in every possible way, quality time with loved ones and positive emotions. Today she finds it easier to say "no" to alcohol, junk food and ChatGPT's medical advice – and more "yes" to new opportunities, knowledge, acquaintances, to LIFE!

It is no secret that beauty – not only within us, but also around us – lifts our femininity and helps it blossom. For Anna, a beautiful, feminine lingerie set does exactly that. She chooses her favorite of the day based on what reflects her mood and how she feels in the moment. "Sometimes a cozy robe and a pastel lingerie set express me best; other times I want to be a playful, mischievous showgirl. Both are feminine in their own way," she says.

Anna in the Chaos set.

New opportunities, dreams and gratitude

At the start of her journey, Anna would have dearly wished to have someone by her side with a similar experience and at the same stage of life – someone who could support her both emotionally and with information. "I would have done several things differently," she admits. That is exactly why she went on to train as a peer counselor herself. Anna dreams that in the future everyone diagnosed with (breast) cancer could immediately receive a list of counselors who can explain things and offer support in a way no one else can. Anna herself found the Onkoloogika community only at the end of her journey, so she encourages others not to wait: "If cancer is part of your life, don't wait until you fall into depression."

"The illness took a lot, but it has given more. I am immensely grateful and happy that I can still be here and watch my daughter grow up. I want to contribute to a better world, to inspire and help those who are going through a similar journey or who are close to someone who is ill. You are not alone!" Anna promises.

Lived experience changes your perspective. "I no longer worry about things that haven't happened yet. I no longer rob myself of the joy of today." Today, in her own words, Anna is living a much happier version of herself than before cancer. "Happiness is a choice. A choice to notice the good and the beauty around you every day. A choice to prioritize your health and mental well-being. A choice to be a better person."

"I no longer worry about things that haven't happened yet. I no longer rob myself of the joy of today."

Together against breast cancer!

This October, BonBon Lingerie, PÄRIS Pagar Deli Resto and the Estonian Cancer Society are joining forces to support the fight against breast cancer. From 9.10 to 8.11 you can treat yourself and do good at the same time: enjoy the "Le Bon Abricot" apricot cake at the PÄRIS restaurant and shop in the BonBon online store or flagship boutiques. All proceeds from the cakes and 2% of every BonBon purchase will be donated towards a new-generation 3D mammography machine for the Estonian Cancer Society's mammography bus.

Estonian Cancer Society donation lines:
900 1004 – 5€
9001040 – 10€

💗CHECK YOURSELF 💗

Be your own best breast keeper!
BonBon Lingerie

Photos: Sashakhokh

Text: Triin Veetamm